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Dr. Evil RE: Whitehouse Security

Dr. Evil RE: Whitehouse Security

President Trump:

I don’t want to criticize. Walls are nice.  And who doesn’t love “vicious dogs” … they go so well with walls.  As far as they go.

And I am a big fan of “unimaginable weapons” as you know. Frickin’ “lasers”!

Nevertheless, you need to enhance the security of your underground lair.  Besides a wall … you need a moat. Stocked with sharks. With head-mounted “lasers”. Throw me a bone here. Once developed, these sharks with “lasers” could also be deployed in the Rio Grande.

And then there’s the matter of the amenities … I suspect your government-issue “bunker” is woefully lacking in them, as you probably noticed on your recent “inspection” tour. 

What?  Not even a putting green?  I thought so. They also have this thing where you can hit the ball at a big screen with golf-course pictures. You should put in one of those.

But whatever else you do, do not forget the indoor pond.  Stock it with sea bass. They are delicious.  You might even take up fishing besides golf.

Bwa ha ha.  Throw me a bone here!

Dr. Evil